Jon Bon Jovi must be stopped!
It occurred to me last night during "American Idol'' that Jon Bon Jovi may well be responsible for the end of life on this planet.
All his songs beamed by television and radio signals for all these years are headed out of the solar system at the speed of light. Sooner or later, those signals are going to be picked up by an alien civilization.
"Listen to these earthlings,'' they will say to one another, "they have brains and a language capable of producing ideas and awe. But they apparently worship this Bon Jovi guy, a singer who can't string two lines of a ditty together without including a dozen cliches. Looks to us like this is a planet ripe for the plucking...''
And the next thing you know it's death beams, ray guns and forced exile for the survivors to some interplanetary zoo.
""Now, wait a minute, Riley,'' I hear some of you saying, "we got Chuck Berry, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen and Bono adding to the music of the spheres. Maybe the aliens will decide that any species that can come up with 'Like A Rolling Stone' is worth saving.''
Maybe. But that requires the kind of luck that homo sapiens is not known for, and it seems pretty risky. Surely somebody can convince Bon Jovi to go into the insurance game, or bookkeeping or something like that.
All his songs beamed by television and radio signals for all these years are headed out of the solar system at the speed of light. Sooner or later, those signals are going to be picked up by an alien civilization.
"Listen to these earthlings,'' they will say to one another, "they have brains and a language capable of producing ideas and awe. But they apparently worship this Bon Jovi guy, a singer who can't string two lines of a ditty together without including a dozen cliches. Looks to us like this is a planet ripe for the plucking...''
And the next thing you know it's death beams, ray guns and forced exile for the survivors to some interplanetary zoo.
""Now, wait a minute, Riley,'' I hear some of you saying, "we got Chuck Berry, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen and Bono adding to the music of the spheres. Maybe the aliens will decide that any species that can come up with 'Like A Rolling Stone' is worth saving.''
Maybe. But that requires the kind of luck that homo sapiens is not known for, and it seems pretty risky. Surely somebody can convince Bon Jovi to go into the insurance game, or bookkeeping or something like that.
posted by Michael Riley at 10:55 AM
11 Comments:
I don't what you are smokin but Jon Bon Jovi is the best lead singer and has written some of the best songs ever!!!!!! I am a huge fan since I was 13 years old. I love the songs, concerts, etc.
worse yet, right after American Idol..Meatloaf was singing on Dancing with the Stars while Russsian ballroom dancers gyrated to his lyrics...was almost as weird as last year's American Idol duet of Meatloaf and Kat "McPheever" McPhee..he looked like the creepy pedophile music teacher with his frightened student...
Based on the fact that Bon Jovi has fancy parties at his home for people running for president, I think he might go into politics, and him representing the state or country is even scarier than an alien thinking he represents the world.
If you think having aliens picking up Bon Jovi's music is bad, just wait until they get wind of John Ashcroft singing "Let The Eagle Soar". They'll attack with both ray gun barrels a-blazin'!
I think people that are not concern about children dying every minute in Africa, or not concern about the homeless or their global community should be picked up by aliens first... Jon Bon Jovi besides a great musician is contributing a lot to make this planet a better world. The aliens could take the president to Jupiter...or to Iraque for a little tour...Please let Jon singing among us...It's all about love!!!
I bet the people that receive free medical care at the Parker Clinic on Shrewsbury Avenue in Red Bank are real glad that Jon Bon Jovi didn't go into the insurance business. That clinic wouldn't exist if it weren't for the charitable donations that Jon makes to that clinic each year.
Think what you like of his lyrics
- he sold 120 million albums :)
Wanted dead or alive :)
have a nice day! I think we ran out of his cliche/lyrics.. :}
My husband agrees.:o) And he knows music. I believe you know him. You baptised and married us both.
He married you both? Hey, that's some progressive religion you've got there!
Bon Jovi couldn't find good lyrics with both hands and a dictionary!!!!!!!!!
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