The passion of Tara Conner

Getting a second chance from Donald Trump is like receiving a twofer coupon to the All You Can Eat Liver Buffet -- it's a nice enough gesture, but do you really want to take advantage of it?

Tara Conner, the by-the-skin-of-her-teeth Miss USA, has been told "Go, and sin no more'' - not by the Messiah himself, but by Trump, a guy who knows that he could have offered really classy redemption if God had left it up to him. Is there anything funnier in this world than getting a lecture on moderation from "Mr. Golden Mean'' himself?

The beauty queen seemed grateful for the opportunity to continue to fulfill her duties as Miss USA. Which duties are what, exactly? Smiling bosomly seems to me to be the sum of it. If you ask me, that alone would require a couple of stiff drinks every day just to get through it.
But the young country mouse agreed to go to rehab, even though she's doesn't think she's an alcoholic.

She's living proof of that old saw about the difference between drunks and alcoholics.
"Us drunks don't have to go to all those darn meetings.''