Three weeks to straight sex

The Rev. Ted Haggard, we have been informed, is "completely heterosexual'' after only three weeks of counseling. That must surely come as something of a relief to Mrs. Haggard. But I imagine that gay men everywhere must be wailing and gnashing their teeth that such a fine piece of beefcake is off the market.

Here's what Haggard said, somewhat cryptically, back when his tryst with a male prostitute first came out: "The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.'' And now, after three weeks, he's "cured?'' I've had pimples that took longer than three weeks to get rid of.

The problem here, in part, it seems to me, is that a man can consider his sexual attraction to other men as something "repulsive.'' And let's face it: if you've been fighting a lonely battle your whole life, three weeks doesn't seem like enough time to arrange and sign a peace treaty.
What needs healing these days, and not just in Haggard's heart, is this idea that homosexuality is a dark and repulsive thing, a tool of the devil to lead the Children of Light into perdition. It just ain't necessarily so.

Heterosexual lust is as sinful as homoseuxual lust - and an encounter with a prostitute - male, female or both at once - is certainly a lusty event. But same-sex love can be as numinous and grace-filled as heterosexual union. Maybe when Haggard goes back to school to get his master's in psychology, he will tumble on to that. I'm not holding my breath. But I am praying.