The future of newspapers...It's all about me
The newspaper business has tumbled on to the fact that this whole Internet thing isn't a fad. It ain't going away, and it's taking away readers from print. For the longest time, I myself didn't worry about my job going the way of buggywhip makers. I figured two things:
1. It seemed to me that the Internet consisted of Amazon.com, eBay, a million Nigerian credit scams and a gazillion porn sites - none of which would seem to compete with the newspaper business. Turns out there's a whole lot more in cyberspace than any of us thought.
2. Whether people actually read the paper or not, they are still going to need something to line their birdcages and wrap their fish with. Let's see MySpace do that.
But newspapers are continuing to lose circulation. The same people who say they don't have time to read the newspaper are the same people who surf the Web for hours. Go figure.
Well, the powers that be at the company where I toil have decided on a bold plan of action.
The future of journalism, it seems, comes down to....me.
That's right. Somehow bloggers are going to save journalism.
God help us all.
Actually it's bloggers and you folks who are going to save the day. When you start sending your pictures of car crashes, house fires and videos of your cute little grandson singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,'' we're going to be all set for this century.
1. It seemed to me that the Internet consisted of Amazon.com, eBay, a million Nigerian credit scams and a gazillion porn sites - none of which would seem to compete with the newspaper business. Turns out there's a whole lot more in cyberspace than any of us thought.
2. Whether people actually read the paper or not, they are still going to need something to line their birdcages and wrap their fish with. Let's see MySpace do that.
But newspapers are continuing to lose circulation. The same people who say they don't have time to read the newspaper are the same people who surf the Web for hours. Go figure.
Well, the powers that be at the company where I toil have decided on a bold plan of action.
The future of journalism, it seems, comes down to....me.
That's right. Somehow bloggers are going to save journalism.
God help us all.
Actually it's bloggers and you folks who are going to save the day. When you start sending your pictures of car crashes, house fires and videos of your cute little grandson singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,'' we're going to be all set for this century.
posted by Michael Riley at 11:06 AM
5 Comments:
So it's the bloggers that will save your job, Riley?
Your wife's job provides health insurance, right?
"I want to make it clear that I would pay for this privilege if I had to."
Wow. An "80-something lady" whose very first blog post just happens to speak to an issue that financially benefits both Mr. Riley and his employer. Imagine that.
Do you think, Lakelady, that The Asbury Park Press is allowing its advertisers to place their ads on this web site for free? Far from it. Indeed, the more people that visit this web site, the more The Press charges for their ads. In short, there is no need for you to "pay" anything beyond what you are paying now.
"That's right. Somehow bloggers are going to save journalism. God help us all." -- Michael Riley
I don't know about bloggers, Riley, but only a fool would discount the potential that Internet users have to considerably increase the corporate profits that your employer, The Asbury Park Press, actually earns each year. The trick, of course, is to figure out how best to increase the number of visitors (hits) that your web site receives each month. (Clue: You don't do that by writing about your wife's Halloween costume.) As stated above, the more visitors (hits) to a site, the more that site can charge for advertising. (Remember: Matt Drudge became a multi-millionaire operating a news web site out of his studio apartment. And he is a dumbass.)
Since you are both lovable but nonetheless a little slow on the uptake, I'll tell you precisely how your paper can accomplish that goal. Grab a pencil and take good notes. If you're smart, you'll read this post, delete it before any of your bosses reads it, and then claim the idea for yourself. I won't mind if you take the credit, and you'll wind up looking like a genius for the first time since, well, the Reagan Administration.
This is what you do:
(1) Go to:
The Guardian: "The Mack-Daddy, Undisputed King of Left-Wing, British, Anti-American, Freedom-Hating, Piss On Christianity, Did I Mention We Blame All Evil In The World On The United States?" Newspapers Ever Known To Exist In The Long & Tortured History of Mankind.
(2) Go to their "Talk" section:
Guardian Newstalk
(3) Click on the "Start Talking" icon.
(4) Assuming the following link works, Welcome To The Jungle!:
Start Talking: Too Late To Turn Back Now
(5) Quickly -- very quickly! -- come to the realization that as dumb as these bastards are, they have the most popular "talk boards" in all of Europe.(Talk Boards = Internet Forums, which are not at all the same thing as "blogs") At the very least, it certainly seems that way. Bottom line: Millions of people from all over the globe -- people that otherwise would NEVER come to their web site, mind you -- nonetheless visit The Guardian web site each month. Moreover -- and here is the kicker -- they do so for one purpose and one purpose only: To piss on anyone that doesn't share their particular opinion.
Now in the normal course of things, going out of your way to insult someone else might seem, well, somewhat impolite. But then again -- and to quote that no-talent, older-than-Moses, reclusive, mental patient, Bob Dylan -- "the times, they are a changing." Internet pissing contests are, far more than NASCAR, an increasingly popular sport -- a fact that you, no doubt, have learned the hard way in recent weeks. :-)
(6) Study The Guardian Talkboards. They are # 1 for a reason. Hire their web master if you can. Whoever he/she is, he/she is that good! If you can't get him or her, hire me. I'm that good as well.
(7) Create the exact same sort of Talk Boards/Internet Forums that they have, save the politics. If anything, make the site slightly right-leaning in its political bent. (Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Fox News are all popular in this country for a reason -- reasons that definitely don't translate to success across the pond. Just assume that conservatives piss more in America.)
(8) Sit back and watch your bosses at The Press count the dough, while at the same time hoping you survive long enough to get your boys through college and collect that pension/401K of yours.
Now get to work. You owe me, Riley.
hey seamus I hear you pissing all over yourself every time you spew your political agenda on this blog- no matter the topic! I guess Mr. Riley is doing something right because he always gets a response from you- idiotic or not. I read the paper and scan the website/blogs, just as I listen to talk radio shows and cable programs..it's called multimedia for a reason..no one in U.S. can ever give an excuse about not being informed (well- or mis-)because there's certainly no shortage of places to get it if so inclined.
dg,
i'd have to strongly side with (mis-) as far as that goes. I think the age of the baser Jeremiad is upon us.
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